This is the fifth edition of Bathroom-Break Tidbits. Enjoy!

Yes, this post is about adverbs. Yes, that might seem elementary. But, yes, I do think it's necessary. Why? Well... *checks surroundings*... because some people don't know their adverbs! That's why!

Have you ever heard someone say "I play soccer good" or "All adverbs end in -ly!"? If so, then that means some people, somewhere, probably hiding in dark corners and under bridges of the grammar world, don't know their adverbs! (And maybe... just maybe... that includes you, too! Yeah, that's right! I said it!)

So, please, let's learn adverbs together. It'll be fun. You'll be glad. I promise.

Adverbs are one of the eight parts of speech that, by definition, describe or modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. For example, in "He dances embarrassingly," embarrassingly is an adverb describing dances. Easy enough, right? Well, there's more.

Adverbs come in all shapes and sizes: words, phrases, and clauses.

• walking carefully
• walking after midnight
• walking where I've never been before
  

This means adverbs aren't limited to single words; adverbial phrases and adverbial clauses act as adverbs. Also, adverbs don't have to "touch" the words they modify either: "Today, Sue ate a burrito painfully." Both today and painfully are adverbs describing when and how, respectively, Sue ate the burrito. Maybe if Sue knew her adverbs, she wouldn't have made the mistake of eating the burrito. Poor Sue.

Besides verbs, adverbs can also, per their definition, describe adjectives and other adverbs: "You ride in my depressingly undersized, red wagon." Depressingly here is an adverb describing the adjective undersized. And in "My dog snores outrageously loudly," loudly modifies the verb snores, while outrageously modifies the adverb loudly.

By the way, not and often no are adverbs. Take, for example, "Ain't nobody got time fo' that!" Setting aside the sentence's grammatical errors (like the double negative and use of got), and minding that ain't is really an informal contraction for does not, therefore, in "Nobody does not got time fo' that!", not is an adverb modifying does got. Cool, huh?

Maybe Sweet Brown isn't the best grammar example... Oh, well.

I have some unsettling news; you might want to sit down: If you learned in grade school that "all adverbs have -ly endings," your teachers lied to you! Yes, I know. It's heart-wrenching. There are many adverbs without -ly endings, and they're called flat adverbs: fast, for example. There is no fastly. Just fast.

To be fair, most adverbs used in English today have -ly endings, but that wasn't always the case. All adverbs used to have flat and -ly versions (meaning there was, once, a fastly), but over time most adverbs have lost one of their versions, or at least one version has fallen out of popular use. In most cases, it's been the flat version.

However, in all technicality, flat adverbs are still grammatically correct. In fact, we often prefer them: "Sleep tight." (Not tightly.) "Drive safe." (Not safely.) And regarding non-special cases, even if you say "I eat quiet," instead of "I eat quietly," you're still very much in the clear. Flat adverbs are okay. I promise. Feel free to breath deep and take it all in.

Also feel free to stick flat adverbs to your fifth grade teacher.

(Oh, on a semi-related note, here's how to use well and good: Well is an adverb; good is an adjective. This means you play soccer well, and you are a good person. Well can act as an adjective but only regarding health: "I'm well." Good, on the other hand, is NEVER an adverb. That means you don't "speak good." Ever. You speak well. Got it? Are we clear? Good.)

The last topic I'd like to discuss is disjuncts, or sentence adverbs, which are adverbs that modify entire sentences. For example, "Hopefully, the people on Lost will finally get off the island." Here, hopefully comments on the entire sentence, not just a single word. Other disjuncts are luckily, unfortunately, interestingly, etc.

For whatever reason, the use of some adverbs as disjuncts (versus their use as adverbs of manner, as in "I pray hopefully") is controversial. But I honestly don't know why. Merriam-Webster thinks their use as disjuncts is okay, though, and that's good enough for me. Hopefully, you'll agree too. (See what I did there?)

I hope this post has elucidated some of the nuances of adverbial usage. As you can see, it's not always cut-and-dry, and often even basic assumptions (like -ly endings) can be misleading. But now you can go forth and be grammar saviors. Be the heroes of English adverbs that our language needs; be them even if the language doesn't deserve you. Be the Darkly Dressed Knights of adverbs! (Get it? Yeah? Ah, never mind.)

And that, my friends, is adverbs in a bathroom break.

Merriam-Webster has an awesome video series on linguistics and grammar that I'd highly recommend. The ones I referenced for this post are as follows:

• Flat adverbs: "Drive Safe: In Praise of Flat Adverbs"
• Disjuncts: "Hopefully"

[This post was first written 2014-07-11 and last updated 2014-07-13.]

This is the fourth edition of Bathroom-Break Tidbits. Enjoy!

The death of poet Francesco Petrarch in 1374 marked the beginning of a new era of European history: the Renaissance. It began in Italy and would last there until 1525, when the Holy Roman Empire's army sacked Rome, and it would last later still in Northern Europe. French for "rebirth," the Renaissance transitioned the continent away from the agrarian, politically cloistered, economically stagnant Middle Ages into a new age of urbanization, state consolidation (thanks to the rise of "new monarchs"), and transcontinental exploration (with its consequent global economics).

The Renaissance transformed European intellectualism and culture. The religious scholasticism of medieval universities, which had focused on recapitulating Catholic-Church-approved philosophical "authorities," fell to the wayside in favor of revived Greek and Latin studies. The rise of humanism, individualism, and secularism championed the human form and sparked reinterpretations (and eventually reformations) of Catholicism. Many scholars even attempted to revive ancient Greek and Roman values in everyday life.

These new cultural sentiments manifested themselves in the art of the era. Renaissance art, born at the hands of the painter Giotto in the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries, focused on realistic, life-like representations of human subjects. Additionally, these subjects often performed secular, everyday tasks (see the works of the Dutch Golden Age); during the Middle Ages, by contrast, works had normally depicted biblical scenes or religious idols. To be certain, though, Renaissance works, especially those in Italy, were still largely religious.

The trends of humanism and individualism motivated some painters to even exaggerate the human form. Michelangelo's subjects were practically superhuman, more well-built than any man ever could be, but depicted as such to represent man's great power and potential. The development of new painting techniques, especially linear perspective (see del Verrocchio and da Vinci's The Annunciation below) and chiaroscuro (or realistic shading), enabled such artistic advancements.

Italy dominated the early Renaissance, thanks to its "head start" on the rest of the continent. Throughout the Middle Ages, Italy had remained a collection of autonomous, commercial city-states, one of the few regions of Europe that still traded on large scales; by contrast, the rest of the continent had been a mosaic of politically hierarchical, economically stagnant fiefs. This gave Italy an advantage in idea proliferation during the Renaissance, and it dominated the first century of it. However, by the late-1400s, inequalities in city-state power began to cause turmoil in Italy, and a combination of failed treaties, invasions by France and the Holy Roman Empire, and even political intrigue by the pope ended the Italian Renaissance by 1525.

Meanwhile, throughout Northern Europe, monarchs had finally begun to consolidate their kingdoms under centralized control. In some countries (England, Spain, and France), representative assemblies emerged in an attempt to stop monarchical consolidation, but to little effect. Increasing national unity as well as technological advancements like the printing press allowed ideas of the Italian Renaissance to proliferate Northern Europe, thereby beginning the Northern Renaissance. National unity also allowed national taxes, larger army budgets, and spending on exploratory projects. As a result, by 1500 Portugal had sailed around Africa to India, and Spain had (accidentally) put a man in America.

In this way, the Renaissance sparked a new, globally oriented Europe. Soon, countries had colonies dotting the coasts of Africa, America, and India, first as trading posts but eventually as settlements. Everywhere they went, Europeans brought Western culture to new peoples (most of whom would wish the Europeans had never come). Europe—and the world—had been reborn. The new politics, economics, and culture of Renaissance Europe set the stage for the modern Europe to come, and the world would never again turn back.

And that, my friends, is the European Renaissance in a bathroom break.

Kagan, D., Ozment, S., Turner, F. M. (2011). The Western heritage, since 1300: AP edition (10th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. (Amazon link to the 11th edition).

This is the third edition of Bathroom-Break Tidbits. Enjoy!

Our brains process great quantities of information and make complex decisions in very little time. Often, we aren't even consciously aware of our decisions. How do our brains do it? Using their dirty secret: shortcuts. Yep, our brains cheat. One type of shortcut is heuristics, or essentially rules of thumb. Heuristics boost the speed of decision making by sacrificing a little accuracy.

Heuristics are just that: rules of thumb. They're based on experiences and produce almost immediate decisions—but not perfect ones. One heuristic is the availability heuristic. It affects our judgment based on what information most readily comes to mind. For example, in choosing where to eat, we might pick the restaurant whose commercial we just saw, simply because that information is first available to memory retrieval.

We also see the availability heuristic when estimating probabilities. In making travel plans, for example, people sometimes avoid airplanes for fear of terrorist attacks. We may travel by car instead, even though a fatal car accident might be thousands of times more likely than a hijacked plane. But because terrorist attacks, due to their emotional weight, come to mind most readily, we irrationally decide against air travel. The decision is quick—we don't think deeply about it—but, as you can see, it does trade off accuracy for speed.

Another heuristic is called framing. It affects our judgments regarding outcomes based on the positive or negative "framing" of information. In 1984, Kahneman and Tversky studied it. They asked participants how they would stop an epidemic: a program where 1/3 of people live, guaranteed, or a program where there's a chance everyone lives (33% likely) and a chance everyone dies (66%). Most people chose the first.

However, if given these two: a program where 2/3 of people die, guaranteed, or a program where there's a chance everyone lives (33%) and a chance everyone dies (66%), most people chose the second. Why? Apparently, we naturally play it safe with gains (1/3 lives saved, guaranteed) but more willingly gamble to avoid losses (2/3 dead). Even though both choices are identical in gains and losses, their framing—the focus on lives saved or lives lost—affected participants' judgments.

A number of other heuristics influence our decisions each day, too: the representativeness heuristic, the recognition heuristic, anchoring (or the focusing effect), and a bunch more.

Our brains juggle information like professional jugglers. Heuristics widen their decision-making capacity by trading off a little accuracy for precious speed. (You can imagine how fast thinking might have benefitted our African ancestors. In fights with lions, speed is key!) See if you can recognize when your brain uses heuristics to shortcut complex decisions. Have you ever voted for a candidate just because he or she was familiar? If so, the recognition heuristic was at play. Have you ever narrowed down potential new phones/computers/boyfriends by their worst features? That's elimination by aspects.

Most of the time, heuristics are the perfect decision-making tool; they're the ideal balance of fast and accurate. But there are times when greater accuracy is necessary. Heuristics, as you saw above, aren't perfect. In those times, be wary to rely on them, even if the solution they produce "feels" better—for example, when voting or when safety is at risk. But knowing how your brain works is the best way to use it, since you can optimize its many features. Happy thinking!

And that's heuristics in a bathroom break.

Wood, S. E., Wood, E. G., & Boyd, D. (2013). Mastering the world of psychology (5th ed.). Houston, TX: Pearson. (Amazon link)

This is the second edition of Bathroom-Break Tidbits. Enjoy!

Ah, the summer (el verano) is upon us! Since many of you will be taking vacations (las vacaciones), I figured I'd share some beach-themed, Spanish vocabulary with you. Use it when you go on that paradisiacal getaway! I'll just be here working. Sigh. Have fun!

the bathing suit = el bañador / el traje de baño
the beach = la playa
the bote (generic) = el bote
the crab (alive and food) = el cangrejo / la jaiba
the fish (alive—not food) = el pez
the flip-flops = las chancletas
the jellyfish = la medusa
the ocean = el océano
the palm tree = la palmera
the parasol (you know, those dainty sun umbrellas) = el parasol / la sombrilla
the sand = la arena
the sandals = las sandallas
the sea = el mar
the seagull = la gaviota
the shark = el tiburón
the starfish = la estrella de mar (literally, the sea star)
the sun = el sol
the sunglasses = las gafas de sol
the sunscreen = el filtro solar / el bloqueador solar
the suntan = el bronceado
the swimmer = el/la nadador/a
the tank top = la camiseta sin mangas (literally, the t-shirt without sleeves)
the towel = la toalla
the wave = la ola

to build a sandcastle = construir un castillo de arena
to go boating = pasear en bote
to have lunch = almorzar (to eat in general = comer)
to fish = pescar
to play beach volleyball = jugar al voleibol en la arena
to scuba dive = bucear
to sunbathe = tomar el sol
to suntan (oneself) = broncear(se)
to surf = hacer surf
to swim = nadar
to take a walk = dar un paseo / dar una vuelta

(Don't know how to conjugate these? Visit wordreference.com, my favorite English-Spanish-basically-any-language dictionary. There's a great conjugator.)

It's (very) hot outside. = Hace (mucho) calor.
It's (very) sunny outside. = Hace (mucho) sol.

And that's a day at the beach in Spanish—in a bathroom break.

Hello! This is the first edition of, what will be, a series of posts entitled "Bathroom-Break Tidbits." Each post will discuss a topic of science, history, language, or some other subject in the amount of time required for the average, er, bathroom break. Thus, I present the first edition of Bathroom-Break Tidbits: DNA.

DNA, or deoxyribonucleic acid, is the most famous molecule of the century. It's the genetic material of every organism, the biological blueprint that makes you! From your conception to death, your cells use the DNA in them to coordinate their activities—to control metabolism, to grow, divide, communicate, and, in certain circumstances, even commit cellular suicide (called apoptosis).

DNA is a polymer (or chain) of individual monomers (or units) called nucleotides. Each nucleotide contains a "base" that identifies it; there are four bases: cytosine (abbreviated C), adenine (A), thymine (T), and guanine (G). Multiple nucleotides (millions, even) can be strung together into chains, and two chains cling together with hydrogen bonds to form a double helix.  This double helix constitutes a molecule of DNA:

How does DNA control cellular activities? It delegates. Your DNA has regions called genes, which, based on the order of their nucleotides (ATCTGC...), instruct cells to make specific proteins. Proteins then act as the busy-bodies that do almost everything in your cells. One protein, called hemoglobin, for example, uses iron atoms to trap oxygen and distribute it throughout your body. Another, called oxytocin, a hormone, relays messages of bonding, trust, and even pleasure.

Thus, your DNA is responsible for making you (although the exact influence of genes versus environment in your development and behavior is a topic of hot debate).

Genetic engineering is a wildly growing field that edits the genes of organisms for our benefit. For example, pharmaceutical companies transform bacteria to produce human insulin for diabetics. We can also add nutrients to crops to help end hunger and malnourishment in poor countries (these crops are called genetically modified organisms, or GMOs, and are also a hot debate).

Changes in DNA also affect people directly. Mistakes, or mutations, from radiation, errors in copying, and other sources can cause developmental disorders, like Down Syndrome, and cancer. Much research is trying to prevent and fix detrimental mistakes. Most importantly of all, mutations in DNA underlie the process of evolution by natural selection, but that's another story for another day!

And that, my friends, is DNA in a bathroom break.